Me eating raw kale:
First bite: “Oh, yum. So fresh and crispy.”
Second bite: “Wow…really crispy. Kinda tough to chew.”
Third bite: “What is this, cardboard?”
Fourth bite: “Ok, I can literally feel my esophagus digesting this.”
Fifth bite: “Aaaaaaad I’m done.”
Then I had marinated kale salad. Turns out the leaf IS basically cardboard unless it sits in dressing for a few hours or overnight.